MY ONE CRAZIER SYSTEM IN APPLICATION

A philosophical system that can't be applied to the real world is like a mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it!

I was honored to be part of The Lot, the first volume of SUM FLUX. It kicks off with Edition 1, featuring seven writers. Read more about this zine and its theme here

https://sumflux.substack.com/p/volume-1-the-lot

A FAMILY CHRISTMAS STORY.

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In order for this to make sense one must know about my One Crazier System.

This is detailed in its full batshit glory here.

https://substack.com/@obsidianblackbird/p-151874873

But in short: Antisocial and Narcissistic people will be rude and even violent until some badass says NO.

They will push it as far as they can. They get away with it because few people are willing to fight. These nuts and emotional bullies only understand violence. Reasoning does not work. They will not behave until forced to behave.

Its premise is thus: When someone is being a crazy arsehole and does not respond to discussion, reason, or logic, GO ONE CRAZIER. There will be a level at which they realize that their anti-social behavior and pulling their girlfriend along by the hair through the produce aisle, while the rest of the Californians pretend not to see, is not ok. It may be after you have thrown them through a cat food display in the bougie supermarket and they are upside down pissing their pants in shock that they realize in all of Sierra Oaks Sacramento there was one Kiwi, ready to go ONE CRAZIER.

In order to use this system, it helps if you have had about ten years of martial arts training and are fine with being punched.

But I think you should just try it anyway.

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So, here is the scene.

I’m 30 and I’ve flown back to New Zealand, from the USA to visit my cousins for Christmas.
I haven’t seen them for about 6 years and love them dearly.

In emails over the years, I was hearing quite a bit about the mental fragmentation of their insane controlling narcissistic mother. They had moved out of home and were living up the road. One Cousin was 27, and one was 19.

The insane domineering behavior from the mother hadn’t stopped and had ruined their lives. They were mentally and physically struggling with non-stop insane behavior and continual verbal abuse.

When I got to their house, I saw that the curtains were closed, and the door locked.

Seemed like no one was home… I banged on the door and surprisingly they were home!

They were just hiding. Their system of dealing with their insane mother coming round 10 times a day to scream and abuse them was to lock everything up pull the curtains and hide inside, pretending they weren’t home, so when she came round, she would think no one was there and leave.

She still drove round every hour or so and constantly called and sent texts, which they sometimes replied to, lying that they were away from the house. This had been going on for MONTHS.

I told them this was crazy and that they should take a stand and not put up with this insanity. They disagreed out of fear and told me that the house must remain closed up. I didn’t care what they thought. And I’m too crazy to oppose … so…

I drew the curtains and opened all the windows to let some light and air into the stale stink hiding den.

They were pale with terrified anticipation.

They knew me well… they knew some shit was going to go down.

It wasn’t ten minutes later that their mother rolls up into the car park outside their house in her newish Mercedes.

She came barreling into the house Screaming “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?”

Saw me and stopped… “Oh you’re here…”

“Yes, and I’m going to put in some rules. If you are to come round here, you have to act sane. No verbal abuse, no bringing up their father, no bringing up how hard their births were, no depressed crying rants, and no non-stop talking about insane subjects. Got it?”

She said she got it, and we got into a sort of sane conversation about my life in America for about three minutes before something triggered her into ranting about how terrible her kids were, but it was because of the birth trauma and how their father left them …

I stopped her right there…

“STOP! I told you the rules. You have to leave now.”

She didn’t leave. She just started yelling and ranting louder.

I had to use the ONE CRAZIER SYSTEM.

So, I grabbed the 60-year-old nut job by the neck and dragged her out into the car park.

The shock of it shut her up for a second.

“Get into your car and don’t come back.”

Now she was full spaz abuse screaming, spitting, and dribbling. Unmoving.

I opened the door to the Merc and forced her into the driver’s seat, slamming the door.

The rant screams continued while her sons watched shocked but happy from the doorway…

She sat in the car park in the car outside the house and screamed abuse at me while honking the horn for punctuation. She was trying to get out of the car, but I was holding it closed with my foot.

“You’re now Trespassing. If you don’t leave, I’m going to kick this fucking wing mirror off.”

The screaming continued.

A powerful sidekick sent that mirror into shards, the whole thing now impotently hanging off by its wires.

That shut her up for about four seconds. No one had every opposed her before besides me a few times in my youth… but I never escalated things like this.

But I had traveled the world and had learned a few things about crazies and how to deal with them.

At one point in Canada my One Crazier System and my willingness to escalate things to the point of biting deep into a guy’s face in a nasty fight, had caused me to be excommunicated by the gang of psychos I was running with. When I explained my system to them, they said it was just too much for them and would wind someone up dead. I explained that so far someone always screams Quits, before then…

Anyway… I was down to clown.

She decided she was going to go one crazier than me! And started spitting at me from the window and screaming the worst abuse.

“I’m now going to kick the lights in unless you leave.”

The abuse continued, so I went round to the front and with three hard stomp kicks smashed the front left light in.

She started up the car, and I mistakenly thought that I had won, and she was going to reverse on out and behave.

She tried to ram me!

I leaped up onto the bonnet. Narrowly missing being run over.

Shit. The look on her face was pure evil. It was reptile brain-killer stuff here.

I leaped up as high as I could, and double foot smashed down into the bonnet denting the absolute shit out of it. She surged the car forward trying to throw me off.

20 years of Skateboarding and Surfing kicked in and said, “Not Today!”.

I went to work on the windscreen, with the hardest stomp kicks I could manage.

It took two, just to crack it.

That was it.

That was the level of Crazy needed to Impinge. There is always a point that the crazy will give up.

Sometimes it’s a Knockout… sometimes it’s when you bite into their cheek with your hands wrapped around their throat squeezing … and sometimes it’s a crack in the Mercedes windshield.

She reversed on out of there, and I leaped off, landing in a superhero crouch :)

Not really… I landed rough and fell over… but leaped right up unless she was reversing back to ram me.

My cousins were overjoyed. Strutting about the place for the rest of the day.

Freedom for now.

I showed them that you don’t have to be a Victim.

Though I had to leave, and she came back and continued the abuse, in the end, they all ended up moving overseas and cutting her off.

The only way to be free of that hell.

The next time someone goes psycho on you, try out the GO ONE CRAZIER system and let me know how it goes.

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