Letter to a mate in NZ. 2003
Letter to a New Zealand friend in 2003. Who totally agreed with everything I said.
PASSPORT PHOTO 2003. That my Ready for AMERICA Face.
I had been living in the USA for about 2 months with my new wife…
I was all about the emails to mates back home… documenting the strangeness of the USA… I saved these emails… like an person of old would save letters.. :)
MAAAAAAATE,
I have been daydreaming of camping in my hammock tent in the bush.
This city is stifling me.
It was ( NEW WIFES ) birthday yesterday and I had found a very very nice bag on the side of the road, that would retail for about 60 $ in the shops here. Someone had obviously stolen it and ripped all the stuff from it and then threw it away . When I found it all it contained was a neck brace and some cough drops ( which I kept, ya never know when your gunna need a neck brace eh, and the cough drops which were a nice herbal type I am still getting through. )
Anyway she really liked it and was thrilled. I excitedly told her where I got it and how it had not cost us a cent.
She liked it less when she got to work and showed a few of her friends there and they gave her their opinions.
She came home pretty sad.
Well after a long talk, I learned that a bag found on the side of the road is NOT a suitable gift in America no matter how nice it is.
I tried to explain the cultural differences and the reason why I HONESTLY thought she would be thrilled.
I tried to explain this from the viewpoint of a poor N.Zer.
In N.Z that bag would have been worth at least 120 $ and an import- far in excess of any gift that a young couple ( such as ourselves ) would buy one another.
The money that would have been spent on the bag would now be able to be spent on vital survival goods - like food, rent, gas and oven cleaner- thus conserving money and making life easier as you grovel it out in a freezing 150 per week Auckland flat room, when you earn 370 $ for a 44 hour week painting the houses of corporate executives.
The mans resourcefulness and good scavenging skills would be applauded.
Generally the woman would be very happy as she would be able to boast about the new bag and how much it DIDD’T cost as opposed to how much something DID COST! … As seems to be the way over here.
I am beginning to understand how it is here.
You buy a HUGE expensive gas guzzling truck on credit so that people will pay attention to you and so you can try to fill the huge empty hole of spiritual bankruptcy inside you with STUFF.
It can be summed up in this command.
By things you don’t need, with money you don’t have, to impress people you don’t like.
Alos at work I was horrified that the health center buys little single use plastic vitamin baggies for clients instead of using an old vitamin container that can be reused. I was told to throw away the little baggies after ONE USE!
WHen I was caught saving them and told to throw them out, I said " You could use these again - you could put old screws in them or something."
The person said "Why would you want to save old screws?"
To Quote Mugato of Zoolander "I feel like Im taking crazy pills!!!"
Well I’ve said my bit.
I’m off to straighten old nails.
Best WEZ
PS- I looked this sort of stuff up online to see if I actually WAS crazy… and apparently I’m not.
Attitudes
The remoteness of many parts of New Zealand and the distance of the country from much of the developed world meant that things that were easily obtainable in other parts of the world were often not readily available locally. This has given rise a culure of saving things, in case they will be needed later and to the attitudes "She'll be right, mate""She'll be right, mate" is the attitude that the situation, repairs, or whatever has been done is adequate or sufficient for what is needed. This is often perceived as carelessness, especially when a failure occurs.
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END
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"You buy a HUGE expensive gas guzzling truck on credit so that people will pay attention to you and so you can try to fill the huge empty hole of spiritual bankruptcy inside you with STUFF."
Nailed us. Impressive you got to the truth so quickly. It's still like this btw.
You are the typical kiwi opportunist but your substack is funny